Future happiness

Do you think big pharma is the savior and that mandates are legitimate? Good for you. Do you think it’s all a scam and profit is the ultimate answer, ending in control of the individual for taking away free choice? Good for you.

It’s all a show.

Are you a Trump fan? May I remind you that operation warp speed was his creation, while Pfizer was already producing vaccine without an emergency approval?

Are you a Biden fan? May I remind you how the world is effectively dying while mr. current president wanted a 3rd dose without even waiting for “science” to give its greenlight?

It’s all a show.

I think since Clinton it all went downhill. And, starting with the US, the whole world collapsed into the same Show Of Shows. I sometimes imagine the laughs Bush Jr. had with family while playing the dumb president part: “They bought it, I’ll be damned!”. I other times imagine the chats between the Clintons: “It took our convenience marriage exposed for globalisation to kick in. What a laugh!”.

Truth be told, who can know anymore? It’s billions of us. Billions. The immediate effect is that we’re having tens, maybe hundreds of millions of people guarding secrets and masquerading the truth. At this size the world is unknowable. Cases like McAfee maybe getting away with murder, but maybe being suicided for talking forbidden subjects, or the infamous pedo Epstein who maybe had the elite wrapped in a web of status lust, but maybe being suicided for getting caught: these are the cracks through which one looks. But what we see through the cracks is a thin and severely incomplete picture. Who don’t know a damn thing. And we never will. Because we can’t.

You know why? Because we’re common people. Common people comply because their world is a fabrication well adjusted to the commoner’s grasp on the world. Makes me laugh how people travel as tourists or for sight seeing, and think that now they “know the world”. They’ve “seen it”. Good for y’all.

We’re billions and billions. We’re a forest where a falling tree is never heard. Not a whisper. Not even a few birds flying away. No birds get in the middle of this forest. It’s a forest of the connections and secrets and agendas of billions of people. Who can tell anymore?

The solution to this is the same as it always was: give up on the world, focus on your surroundings. Do you dislike your country’s politics? Make a local change. “Oh, but they’ll bury us!” I hear you say. Yes, only when you’ll matter. To survive, don’t touch their money. That’s where it all ends. Don’t try to tax the rich, don’t try to fight off corporations, don’t try to create competing globalist ideologies. Just stick to community building, local politics, local production, large networks of friends. The solution is, if you will, medieval, but without the force and bloodshed.

Things which don’t belong together

Our so touted “World Peace” owes to corruption far more than it does to capitalist globalized commerce. It is one of the optimists’ worst founded ideas.


The truth is mankind’s deepest superstition. There is no objective truth, other than mathematical truth. Everything else being subjective is, eventually not true.


The large majority of people never think about anything which is not immediate, so in effect acting as automatons of their own story. The lack of foresight, caution, prediction, care or planning is staggering. So few people really want something.


Do you notice how the rich keep taking property away from the poor? Rent, subscriptions, planned obsolescence, mentality creation, artificial cheapening, trends, fast fashion, new product subscription, unrepairable hardware, exorbitant costs for fixing … Long list of property being separated from small owners.


Property is guaranteed as long as you have it. We should, I’d say, cherish more the right to get property. This should be guaranteed as well, and this is where basic income would be a good fix.

How can I not be myself?

… an answer of mine to this Quora question

If it were possible the way to not be yourself is to be born again, but if you are born in the same family and same historical period and same social class and so on you could end up being the same person all over again. So get reborn as someone else, there that should solve it.

Otherwise, it is very hard to not be yourself. Even striving as hard as you can to not be yourself, whatever comes out it’s still a matter of your own conditioning, education, mental synapses formed in years and years of memory and personality development since childhood.

Powerful drugs sometimes disconnect the self. But, as it turns out with alcohol, people on drugs are merely themselves “uncensored”, not someone else.

Become an actor! Develop an artistic skill! A plethora of people report that being involved in such activities helped them transcend the self and actually feel or become someone else.

I believe the best way to not be yourself is to keep living. Biologically you’ll have totally new material in some years which while keeping the DNA will not keep many scars (internal or external) which are part of the self. Psychologically you will have new ways of internalizing the world, fresh thoughts, new relationships, deeper understanding which, while not canceling or deleting your self, will envelop the self in so many layers you’ll need therapy to dig it out.

Simply put, we are creatures shaped by experience and experience is tightly knit with time. Give yourself the luxury to enjoy time and be open to whatever it throws at you. In time you will become this or that and whatever you end up with is your new self and hence you’ll stop being yourself by being a different (maybe better) version of yourself.

Gratuitous Gratitude Hides Habits

Beware of habits as they turn choices into destiny.


I can find no other concept more oversold than gratitude. It is like gratitude is the single most rewarding emotion that humans are able to feel.

However, in my experiences so far, this is not the case.

Being grateful on demand is a wisely distorted blackmail: what is not appreciated shall be taken away. Of course this blackmail is mixed with positive emotions, like wonder or amazement, and the result is this cocktail of empty emotional calories we call gratitude.

Most of the time meditation does provoke the emotion of gratitude all by its own. Yet this particular trigger creates a sort of inner directed gratitude, you are grateful for being, not for being something. Nevertheless, it is the same superficial solution to a complex problem.

Of course, I am not saying that one shouldn’t feel grateful. What I’m saying is that provoking gratitude through introspection or, worse, by cherry picking aspects of reality to be grateful for, is merely a self sedation practice that undoubtably floods some neurons with the “right” soup of chemicals. Gratefulness appears on its own when it is authentic.

People are spontaneously grateful. Gratefulness is usually the final step before happiness. Both are fleeting.

And that is ok. We shouldn’t fake them. If we use gratefulness as some kind of reality altering lens we risk a lot. The biggest risk is to miss out on self actualization. The next risk is to inadvertently accept the status quo, by transforming it into a kind of crutch for our deep and personal “meaning”. There is also the risk of dying grateful, which, while sounding like a great thing, is not great because we will not be able to pay attention.

Gratuitous gratitude hides habits.

Beware of habits as they turn choices into destiny.

I think death is a great motivator. The reason it has a bad reputation is because humans thend to oversimplify: you can’t count on one motivator to keep you up and running through the, hugely diverse, jungle of meaningless experiences, you are bound to live.

Gratitude does not heal the one single biggest problem of the mind, which is the imminent and permanent death. And, no, this is not a pessimist a outlook on life, it is just a perspective on gratitude.

You can only be grateful for the past, while your whole life comes from the future. The biggest problem will always be in the future, because the biggest problem is precisely the end of you.

Focusing on the present is only a temporary distraction for a restless mind. The restless mind travels constantly: in time. It goes into the past and brings regret, and it goes into the future and brings angst.

Sure, there are many other sights to visit in time, but regret and angst work best for our damn negative feedback loop, the same loop which keeps us from grabbing the hot kettle from the stove.

Death is a good motivator for action. We call it courage. In fact courage is how we perceive the arousal caused by our curiosity for the experience of the other side of death.

Death is a bad motivator for survival though. For that, we need another kind of “personal trainer” of the mind: self discovery. And so on with many other motivators.

I think we shouldn’t look at our daily routines, nor their individual components through the lens of gratitude, because most of our daily routines are not a choice, but various repetition other people chose for us to repeat, and the haze of the grateful mind will keep us from noticing that the daily grind has us bleeding on the inside.

Just let gratitude be a spontaneous effect of a well done experience.

You can’t make something out of nothing.

Why? Because:

There isn’t anything in nothing that may become something.

It is important to understand nothingness and the repercussions that its existence has on your existence. If nothingness exists, only then is existence truly absurd. Otherwise, however weak the something is, there is purpose.

Purpose is merely the existence of a next step in a process.

So, what is nothingness anyway?

It is definable only by comparison: nothing is the opposite of anything. No matter, no dimensions, no space, no thought, no scale, no direction, no speed, no time and, most important: nothing to be defined exists in nothingness.

If, say, before the Big Bang there was nothing, it can only mean that nothingness has a property which makes is create a Big Bang but that is contradictory because there is no something in nothing to create anything from.

We need to be clear on nothing. Nothing is no thing.

Nothing is not emptiness, because emptiness contains the borders of itself. To define something as empty you need to explicitly define a cavity.

Nothing is not absence, because absence is limited by its object, while nothingness is unlimited. In absence only the named absent is not. In nothingness nothing is.

Nothingness is not void because void contains space. Nothing contains nothing, not even empty space. Empty space, aside from the fact it isn’t really empty, is still something, space, so at least one degree removed from nothing.

Nothingness is dimensionless too simply because there is no space. No space, no dimensions.

Death is not nothingness either. Death is non-existence, for both us and all other living things all over this universe. Unless we’re alone, in the entire infinite universe, which raises a lot of hope. But hope always bears disillusionment, so let’s not hope.

Let’s think.

Non-existence is simply being merged with everything-ness. That means there is no self sustaining process anymore. Non-existence is not really about self perception. A person with head trauma who is in a coma but breathes on their own still exists, because there are self sustaining processes that run. Some of the processes stopped or are failing, but others work, and they run.

Nothingness is not lack of perception. Even if all awareness and consciousness would vanish, there would still be something left behind, that is, everything else. The tree that falls without being heard is its own thing. And I know that because the universe in which this tree exists is made of rules. Rules upon rules and all these rules precede consciousness and perception.

That’s why I think our universe is infinite in both dimensions, and directions.

Infinity is necessary because something exists.

Infinity is far more plausible than nothingness because of this paradox:

  • if there is a limit in dimensions or directions, it means that right next to that limit there is nothing,
  • therefore, nothing envelopes everything,
  • but each thing has a size which adds up to the size of everything, yet nothing has no size
  • so the fact that something with no size envelopes all the size
  • makes it not be nothing, but a something

Infinity is far more plausible than circularity too because, by definition circularity implies a circular edge, which again should be enveloped by nothingness and that is paradoxical. There could be circularity inside infinity, if this infinity is self generating it is bound to repeat, but not outside.

So, now the big question, if there has always been something from which everything happened, what is it?

This dream that I’m dreaming is my reality

This dream that I’m dreaming is my reality. Yet, this idea, “reality”, as if there is any “fakety” to oppose it …, what do we mean by it?

The real is opposed to the imaginary and reality is a summation of everything that is real, as in not imaginary. But what if I imagine something that is identical to it’s real counterpart, does that make the imaginary more real?

So far there is nothing in our understanding of the very small or the very large that suggests anything completely fundamental about the universe. I mean, think about it. Energy, the most basic thing must be considered as is, a self defined concept that we mount our entire theory on. Which is extremely useful but it is made up, it is not a fundamental property, like mass, for example.

Completely fundamental means that something is so basic that it cannot be expressed as a sum of parts, like say the electron was once believed to be. The truth is reality is very imaginary so far.

Most of the stuff around you, below you and above you is empty space.

Most of what you perceive is mediated by various fields interacting with each other, not direct experience.

The size of the universe is ridiculous. Not to mention that the idea of size is, again, imaginary when applied to “how big is everything”.

The DNA copies itself. It just happens. There are little worker proteins who just happen to unzip genetic information and copy it piece by piece.

And we call this “reality”. Are we serious? Everything we discover at fundamentally small or large sizes is just description, not explanation. And descriptions are all imaginary.

All reality is rooted in imaginary because we’re unable to get any information as fundamental explanation. The Big Bang, a real event rooted in an imaginary state, the state of before the Big Bang. The singularity, a reality entirely engulfed in the imaginary. This one is effectively funny:

“a one-dimensional point which contains a huge mass in an infinitely small space”

A one dimensional point. We can’t even draw in one dimension. A dot is a circle no matter how small we make it. We have to imagine the idea of “one dimension”.

So the process that I am lives in a real reality enveloped in imaginary concepts, but the imagination is merely a part of the process, so it’s like I am enveloped around myself. And so are you.

This dream that we’re dreaming is our reality.

Whether God’s will created it, or whether He was mute;

Perhaps it formed itself, or perhaps it did not;

Only He who is its overseer in highest heaven knows,

Only He knows, or perhaps He does not know.

— Rigveda 10:129–6

That is why the docile uninvolved annoy me so much.

New eternity in 5, 4, 3 …


There is no God willing to torture you for an eternity, because eternal torture is boring.

There is no eternal happiness either.

Eternal happiness requires both eternal awareness and your freezing in a particular state, but if you don’t change awareness is zero, therefore happiness is maximum right before it changes you so that you lose it. This paradox makes heaven weird.

There may be eternal bliss, which is the unaware perception of completeness. Some orgasms and some meditation, sometimes bring a fleeting bliss, both lowering your awareness.

But, if you don’t fall back, is bliss still enjoyable or suffocating? Really, I don’t see why eternal bliss should necessarily be a reward.

If your self is beyond biological processes, maybe upon the end of life support the self remains imprinted in the stuff that this particular one or all universes are made of.

However, missing perception, you will very likely be lost to yourself.

There is an actual objective and “scientific”, as in not wishful thinking, point in that information is never lost, and if and only if the self is not at all phenomenologically explainable, but instead it is pure information, it may stick around forever, bound into what ever it is that all these “particles” spawn from.

There may even be the possibility that biology devised neural tissue to be so amazing that it acts like a dream catcher fishing out past selves from the fabric of the universe.

But all that, as soon as the speculation feels good because it serves our hopes and wishes, all that is probably false.

Probably.

Change your denominator.

Being a human in this day and age got limited. I feel like those kind of questions which were asked once with great reverence, are today barely referenced as conversation starters. People don’t want to go in depth anymore. What scarred me is that the shallowness is not the kind you find at careless teenagers but a deep one, a shallowness rooted in certainty.

We know there is no life after death. No one ever came back, all reports have been debunked a zillion times and currently all culture revolves around a lust of life sentiment feeding a fear of missing out because you only live once.

We know there is no God. Every single attempt to represent God turned out to be a business enterprise. I think right now God has the worst PR problem in history. Not to mention the ubiquity of suffering and injustice which world wide instant communication made known. We’re clearly on an abandoned gem, struggling to survive our peers in a terrible hostile universe.

We know there is no objective truth. Mathematically proven, socially over researched: truth is always relative. Recently we started to learn there are no lies either.

We know right and wrong are political constructs. All ethics eventually got perverted into enforced mass control. History is chock full with reinterpretation and rewriting.

We know there is no soul. Countless MRIs sum up in an impressionist painting of the “soul”, all chemicals and electric currents. No EKG ever picked any other presence than that of a hard working heart.

We know society is as bad as it has always been. There are ten documentaries a week exposing this, amirite. The rulers are as powerful as ever, and their mischief as boring as ever.

So then, what is there to think about? Does a temporary being, a short lived creature holistically aware of itself, despite all its efforts to dull this awareness out, have any business pondering existential or metaphysical questions? Is it fair to ask this of it?

Existence is also known too. The rate of normative behavior is accelerating each decade, revolutionary social spikes are to be found only in dystopia and all non normative behavior tends to be already in the stage of mental illness. Easy is success.

The universe is boring. It only takes mathematical equations to predict what it does. Finding out each equation is not boring, but once found, triviality ensues.

This is probably some effect of advancing tools, or maybe of the increasing density of our civilization, or an effect of our incredibly disturbing loud loneliness. Replacing solitude with noise is a skill.

Yet all this certainty makes us less human. In my opinion the great differentiator which creates the meaning of “human” is our unrelenting running “I don’t know”. The more certainty, the more automation. The more automation, the less attention. The less attention, the less novelty. The less novelty, the shorter the life.

Change your denominator.

Sudden Realism


There is nothing, because nothing is.

Simple tasks are the hardest.

Amazement is temporary.

Everything is a habit.

Before habit there is no memory.

Everything is fast.

Before fast there is non-existence.

In the continuum of existence, pain feels like a relief.

Existence is numb.

We’re such circular creatures.

When the circle breaks we’re free. But in freedom there is no quality.

Freedom is cold and full of fears.

Freedom is a constant run away from anguish. Such tiresome breaths. The cold of freedom freezes your every draw of air.

Do I miss the warmth of circular belief? No. Do I miss the habit? Yes.

Self awareness is not a blessing. Not in a world stuck in simple ever extrapolating rulesets.

Self awareness is a bottomless hole in which you start falling. You fall into it along with your entire world.

How to be happy? Here:

https://medium.com/@andraganescu/how-to-be-happy-97ecddf185de

Thank me later. Very meek, much modest.

It’s About Time

Hey john seeker, I love the conversation. If my writing comes off as dense feel free to ask direct questions with side comments, private notes and the like 🙂 and, within available time I’ll do my best to reply.

The thing with time is we must constantly be aware that there are two substances time has for a human being. The first is the subjective time, the perception of time’s action upon us, the second is the objective time which exists as a physical truth. That is why it is so hard to talk about time without hitting mind boggling paradoxes.

If there was no Time then everything would be frozen in place, so to speak, as there would be no change.

Objective time is the time embedded in the fabric of the universe, not the ordering we record of when states “happen”. For this reason, a time-line without time is merely just a change-line, but it does exist on its own. It can go either way, having no arrow at either end. Change does not depend on direction.

Change does not create events. Change creates states. There exists change with constant entropy, change with lower entropy and change with higher entropy.

It is time who makes it so that, without intervention, all successive states have bigger entropy. It is time who makes change irreversible, but change is not intrinsically irreversible. Because time has an arrow and it will not rewind on its own, states become “events”, things that happen bound to slide in the past.

Time is an agent of change in a very specific direction. Life is another agent of change in the opposite direction.

How does motion exist without time? Does a photon move? If you ask a photon it might not agree with you as you know it moves but for it time does not work. Yet it is moving through space. Suppose the photon had awareness it would subjectively know it moves because you told him. If we somehow got to a timeless dimension there is nothing to stop us from imagining subjective time and therefore motion itself.

Time is just the time aspect that might be looked on as being relative to your position in Space.

In this view, time is a mere measurement. However that is exactly what Einstein achieved with his thinking: elevate time from a simple record keeping measurement to a mysterious presence deep in the workings of the universe.

Time is not the same thing with occurring change. Time is an active part of the universe which makes space behave a certain way, which makes energy transform spontaneously and so on. We interact with time by observing its effects and because of that it has infused many aspects: motion, speed, acceleration but in reality these concepts measure change, a series of states. I will not dive into disassembling each of these, but limit at saying we could use a new unit of measure other than second.

Time cannot be a dimension as such, because it would have to be at least 3D.

A point is dimensionless, contains nothing but a point. A line is all points, having one dimension containing points. A plane is all the lines, having two dimensions, one containing points and one containing lines. A space has all the planes, having three dimensions, all the points, all the lines and all the planes. A time has all the spaces? Having four dimensions is has all the points, all the lines, all the planes and all the spaces. Basically as you can see higher dimensions are wrapping all the possible states of the lower dimensions. But what is baffling is what does “all the spaces” mean?

The thing is, intuitively, there are not more “spaces”. Contrary to points, lines and planes who have physical correspondence (even points, as all base particles are dimensionless), “spaces” is not something we can experience. Space really is the final frontier. Therefore in order for time to contain more than one space it must first find these other “spaces”. It does so by creatingstates of space. Each space at a certain moment of time is another space.

Therefore a time IS a dimension, made by all the states a space is in.

As funny as it may be talking about them in movies and in books, there is no time travel paradox because there is also a fifth dimension contain all times. Therefore, it is my opinion that one can travel back in time but one cannot change the present. A specific set of states work towards this present. Once you go back in time and change something a new timeline is born.

The only way to really mess around with things for one “human being” is only by accessing the fifth dimension which contains all possible timelines, which contain all possible states of the entire space containing all planes and lines and points. Such a computation is very hard to say the least.

Thus Time indeed causes Entropy, but it also seems to cause Evolution for the same reason.

Words acquire multiple meanings from analogy. Analogy uses context to create a new facet of a concept. Words are precious diamonds and analogy is the jeweler faceting them. Therefore when discussing fundamental concepts one must take great care to set the proper context. Evolution has many meanings, in our case how things change in time, how things move through stages, how goals get closer, how improvement occurs and many other things.

We must fixate the term of evolution and make sure we are always looking at the same facet. The one we are interested in is evolution as a tool life devised to perfect its work of both lowering entropy and keeping it constant.

In this aspect evolution does not require time. Evolution can exist without time. Aging will also exist, but oldness and decay will be optional.

One should not see time as the generator of event sequences. Time is a probability function. It works in the deep fabric of the universe which we call space-time to generate entropy. Because we are so used to having a succession of events we mistake time itself for the concept of timeline. A timeline is one of many ways to order things. Sometimes these things are events. Other time they could be anything else. For example, I could place on a timeline oranges, children, stars and books ordering them by some time factor like age.

It is Time which is thus the Force of Aging, inherent in the structure of the Universe and it is Aging that causes Evolution

Aging is an effect of the arrow of time, because “aging” of both animate and inanimate matter is caused by order breaking apart because of time’s work. As I explained above evolution has one meaning of “progress” and “succession” of states, and if we consider this meaning then it is true that passing time results in evolution.

But you must think outside of the concept of time, în order to really grasp it. Biological evolution is not progress. Evolution is not a successive iteration of states, simply because it is not orderly! Biological evolution has millions of branches and all branches contribute back and forward to new unrelated iterations. You cannot arrange the whole biosphere on a timeline of evolution without multiple branching timelines. You can arrange one species or one individual in a species on one timeline. That is the awe of species: diversity. Therefore, aging does not cause biological evolution.

The existence of life causes the appearance of the process of biological evolution as a means of life adjusting itself.

To grasp the difference between aging and evolution think of an old man. If you put a teenager next to an old geezer you will know which one is of a bigger age. But if you put a crocodile next to a human will you just know which one is more “evolved”? One species is a lot older than the other, yet the evolution level of one species is orders of magnitude bigger than the others.