And because of this I am not saying “no”. I am saying “I don’t have the time for it”.
The thing is I have a very narrow view about what the life I dream of is. So, if you ask me why I don’t do this and why I don’t do that, well it is because I don’t have the time for it. I have my time reserved for the things that really matter to me, and most of the time these things move me closer to the life I dream of living.
I know, you’ll come up with some explanation about networking, socialization, going out and having fun, but i will tell you that I did all that. Actually i did so much of it i am quite numb to the thought of it. The opportunity cost is too high now for the life I’ve always dreamt I would live to slip trough the cracks while I crack jokes with acquaintances.
In my view, I waste precious time by attempting teenage fun in my thirties. I have a very specific set of values and expectations in this moment in life. They do not include most of what it is thought of as cool or fun, and frankly that’s fine by me.
I am that one who feels guilty to himself for wasting time on TV shows. I am the one who is anxious that sleep is needed for functioning. Feeling superior already? Well, that’s me. You’re better, serene and set, and that’s fine. I always strive to do that thing which will get me to that very specific context where i feel that I thrive. Until I will thrive everything else is a waste of time in my book. I am not thriving for example traveling cheap and having experiences on the run. Quickies won’t cut if for me.
Unlike people who don’t want a Lamborghini because their lives are full with friends and cheap fun, i did not choose that. I want a particular kind of freedom which will bring me in a position to be able to buy a Lamborghini, but once there I will do something else instead.
Unlike people who have a Lamborghini and don’t care, I will not waste the opportunity that wealth provides to get back to the roots. I have my roots planted deep right now, if my branches ever get that high i will reach for the sun and embrace it whole.
But until then, I don’t have the time for it, other than reminding myself from time to time where I am headed at: the live I’ve always dreamt I would live.