The business solar system

Money or profit is the sun.

Mercury is sales. The closest to it, taking all the heat. The ones on the sun side are cold calling, direct sales. On the backside, in the hot dark, commercial contracts, deals, and new business.

Venus is marketing. Looking cool on the outside but a literal hell on the inside. The atmosphere is hyper toxic and the heat these folks take is more because of themselves rather than the sun.

Earth is the top-executives, higher management. On the best spot in the solar system. Close enough to enjoy the heat, far enough to be able to exploit it.

Mars is middle management, they were promised adventure and terraforming tech and all they got are eternal sand storms.

Jupiter is IT, always one step behind from becoming a second sun in the system, but never quite there. There is always a storm roaming around. Also doing the crap job of attracting all the wondering asteroids to protect Earth indirectly.

Saturn is the customer support. Everybody says it’s very important but it always ends up an oversized and weird place, with the debris of permanent restructuring orbiting the department.

Uranus is financial and accounting. A featureless disc in visible light becomes an interesting profit center if the spectrum is shifted a bit.

Neptune is the administrative and HR. Bigger than you thought. Glacial.

Pluto is auxiliary personnel, the first to be fired even though they’re the last row in hr expenditures sorted by total value.