A Transcendent Drone

When I was a kid, I’ve always dreamed of becoming someone important. As a grownup, sure, that looks superficial and completely ill defined, but when you’re eight and bored taking a bath, there is nothing better and sweeter than broad ill defined dreams.

It was one of those times when this rebel thought started living in my mind:

“What if I am not real and the reason I exist is to relay some information back to whoever is piloting me?”

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The idea of living as a galactically puppeted drone worked wonders for my entire teen days. I mean, what better way to eschew responsibility than being a nihilist life denying sim?

In time though, the thought lost its vigour. It was becoming clear that I was a puppet but one of my own thoughts and actions. I became aware of my integrity as a creature of flesh, mind and presence.

Presence. The terror igniting squirm. The ache of a hook swallowed which cannot be included in any vomit of sorts. The bug of aware beings. The parasite of transcendence attempts. The static of silence. The pore drowning booze of consciousness.

Mind, the extra who either steals the show, or is paid to realistically fill the black victim bag, zipped and carried away by other faceless forgotten extras. The alter ego of aware beings. Directing the orchestra of their pains, the mind, is either the light or the darkness itself.

Oh flesh, the pleasures you’re capable of. The amazing way in which you follow the ancient master plan of life. How you encompass the creatures zip tight in a glass walled temple from inside which they all must see their incoming end.

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O hai friends, the master puppeteers of me.

The greatest disappointment that adulthood brought along was the lack of transcendence. Really, there isn’t any. With all learning comes a sort of restlessness which never settles. It never does …

But, as a walking talking puppet, restlessness is simply a pain for the puppeteers. To mitigate this pain presence will become light, mind heavy and flesh numb, and by effect you will monkey around to no visible progress whatsoever, drunk in knowledge, high on foresight.

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