The best things in life are free,


  • always arrive late
  • the couriers suck
  • come in a shitty box
  • you cannot refuse them
  • they’re free because they usually come as a bonus to the very expensive next best things in life
  • also, everyone has them, so no bragging rights
  • and everybody has literally the same free best things in life, nothing custom
  • for the slightest customisation makes any best thing in life luxury priced.

I hate freebies. They’re cheap and make me feel poor. Because I was poor.