but:

• always arrive late
• the couriers suck
• come in a shitty box
• you cannot refuse them
• they’re free because they usually come as a bonus to the very expensive next best things in life
• also, everyone has them, so no bragging rights
• and everybody has literally the same free best things in life, nothing custom
• for the slightest customisation makes any best thing in life luxury priced.

I hate freebies. They’re cheap and make me feel poor. Because I was poor.