# To be straight, don’t be gay.

- Link: https://www.andreidraganescu.info/2017/12/18/to-be-straight-dont-be-gay/
- Published: 2017-12-18T11:41:23+03:00
- Author: Andrei Draganescu

![](https://draganescu.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/d5053-1o-gys_s550ubzftli2rica@2x.
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The truth about the gay community is that the stage of complete acceptance into 
an overwhelming straight majority is very far, simply because

> _not being gay_ is part of the definition of being straight.

You see, people have always known, deep inside, that sexuality is fluid and that
sexuality only rarely manifests externally solely based on pure sexual attraction.
So they had to actively fight this fact with all means, all out of good intentions.

I know this and it is the reason why sometimes I find the full on progressive, but
sexually separatist, discourse to be quite boring.

Being straight means not being gay. And I fear _that_ will not change by drawing
thicker borders around neither orientation, nor identity. I understand that you 
cannot get recognition if you don’t define yourself, but by explaining yourself 
so hard you are only strengthening the existence of the power that subdues you.

As long as getting laid with the opposite sex implies not displaying gayness, acceptance
doesn’t go farther than tolerance.

In closed societies you get parents telling kids how to walk, talk, stand, react
and act straight. They threaten then with the incoming and inevitably ensuing gayness
for simple things like having a preference in “too” tight or “too” loose or “too”
colored or “too” dark … clothing. In open societies there will be the over the top
constant concern with the sex of those you have sex with. In either case neither
sexuality not orientation are left to the individual.

And it’s funny. It is funny because sexy time is probably the most harmless individual
preference of anything. I think if goes straight second to weather preference, followed
closely by ice cream flavor preference.

If you think of pedophilia or rape as harmful sexuality or orientation you should
try harder. Neither are what you think they are. One is a harm prone illness, the
other a harmful behavior.

Straightness has gayphobia built in, because straightness is widely defined as polarized
attraction. If you need poles of opposite substance (masculine and feminine) to 
define sexuality, you will, by default, with or without intent, vilify any non polarized
sexuality.

Straightness has transphobia built in, because straightness is widely seen as a 
precondition for procreation. As long as we’ll be stuck to connecting sexuality 
with means of reproduction no kind of non normative behavior will go unpunished.

Reproduction doesn’t care. Humans care. Yet, you can’t be straight, if you’re “gay”.
As long as that’s how it works, it won’t work.